Everything You Know About the End of the World is Wrong, Part 3 (Final)

I was going to make this a 7-part series, but apparently, nobody cares. That’s a shame, because it’s all about to get very timely. Either the US or Israel are probably going to bomb Iran late this year or early next, and the majority of Protestants think that it’s God’s will and possibly even the beginning of Armageddon, and they are glad about that. It should give us all pause that wars are still being justified using a book of unproven stories whose main character mostly preached peace and love.

Now, of course, there are all kinds of rationalizations for this action-terrorism, economics, Iran’s saber-rattling, etc., but the war on Islam would not have the same teeth if it were not for the group of people that the late Hunter S. Thompson called, “The bombs-and-Jesus crowd.”

This group, mostly comprised of evangelicals, takes every piece of news that comes down the pike as evidence of Jesus’ immanent return, and where they can’t bend current events to line up to Biblical prophecy, they will just plain make it up. Every president since Reagan has been called the Anti-Christ, every natural or man-made disaster is one of the Tribulation judgments, and every piece of technology that comes out is a tool of Satan that will be used to persecute Christians. (My favorite is the theory that says that “W” in “computer language” means “6,” so that WWW (as in, World Wide Web) means 666, or the Devil’s number. Simply by using the Internet, you are damning your soul forever. Of course, I read about this on a website.)

I don’t know what to make of all of this, these people who are so eager to wade through the rivers of blood that will flow from the corpses piled up in the Valley of Megiddo,  who think that when Jesus said he was “coming back with clouds,” he probably meant mushroom clouds. They don’t want the lost to be saved so much as slaughtered so they can dance for Jesus on their graves.

I’m not going to get into a discussion on Middle East politics, except to point out that Christians are backing Israel to the tune of billions per year, all based on a misreading of the 38th and 39th chapters of Ezekiel.

These chapters describe a large multinational army that sweeps out of the north to invade Israel and gets defeated by God. The prophecy lists the nations involved, including the ethnic peoples and tribes they descended from, and because some of the descendants those peoples happened to be located in Russia during the time of Communism, Christians believed for half a century that Russia was going to invade Israel, despite any logical reason for doing do. It made sense for a while. Russia was invading everybody. Just to make sure everyone bought the “Commies vs. God” routine, Biblical “scholars” deliberately mistranslated some of the tribal names to match names of cities all over Russia.

Of course, this all became moot with the fall of Communism, but never underestimate the ability and willingness of “Christians” to once again doctor the facts to raise some money. Pastor John Hagee, who has taken up the mantle of Hal Lindsey and then some, has assured us that it is militant Islam who will be invading Israel (this despite Israel’s 300 nuclear weapons and state-of-the-art American missiles, radar, jets and tanks.)

“On February 7, 2006, Hagee and 400 leaders from the Christian and Jewish communities formed a new national organization called Christians United for Israel (CUFI).This organization addresses members of the United States Congress, professing a Biblical justification for the defense of Israel.“-Wikipedia.

I think Israel can defend themselves pretty well. They don’t need to fear a land invasion utilizing horsemen from Ethiopia, Iran and the ethnic peoples around the Caspian Sea, as outlined in Ezekiel.



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